Still the same.

LOLX.


I went for edu fair.


But how?


I feel like the same.


I really don't know what course should I take and I'm ready to take.


I don't know what college to go even.


How worst that I am?


I didn't try before.


That , I totally don't know everything of myself.


What I really want and what I wishing to.


I lost myself totally.



I got the letter for ns.


I felt that was the worst thing happen on me in my life.


Why others people didn't get it?



Why I'm the only person?


Result announce soon.


Just few more days.


Some people keep on count down and expect what their result.



Me don't.


But , I keep find somethings to fill my times.


I know I'm and I'll nervous.


And keep on thinking others things.


So , I must focus and concentrate to something.


ARGH.


I hope that will be the best thing happen in my life!


Hope and pray.



NS.


I don't know what to do to escape from it.


If I postpone , I'll scaring of another day I will still get the letter.


And then , I will be the same miserable like right now.


How.


And I'm sure that time I will be more aggressive to escape.



1st choice , going to ns then earlier come out for form 6.


2nd choice , I got scholarship to college , register right now and postpone the ns.


But mostly I cant get it and I know it but still believe in miracle.


But the 1st things I need to do is waiting.


Waiting my result.


So nervous.



ARGH.


I cant stop thinking of it.



I saw the end of my playing and shopping days.

Time to end this all.



Make a really good plan and save money.


Keep working hard is the necessary rule for doing everything and anything.



EM.



How was it , done by me?


And , I must promise.


Today is the last day I late for sleep.


I must!


Haix.


I saw of many people comment that ns was very nice.


AND NEVER REGRET for going in.


But it really wasting my time!


And , What can I do inside there?


People keep said making new friends.


I know.


But I rather work outside. Than going for it.



Could I escape?


Can my skin sensitive be fatal?


ARGH.


WHY I have to go for it.


That no reason.


That is all about luck!


Why I always be the bad luck 1?


Am I black heart?


HAiz.


A thousand why , but still the same even I got the answer.



Feel like , Truth is truth , non the business of your believing.



2am. good night.