Wish I was cold as stone

I hate the sinking feelings.
Even I try so hard to float,
but the results always are same ,
I'll still continue sinking.
But if I never try so hard to ,
I'll floating and never sink.

Its hurt when you're too close with someone that are cold.


I'm not hot I know.

But I'm not still cold till that.


I have temperature , I'm warm blood animal , I'm much feelings person.


But you're really expert , professional , or you're really born this way.

Many people see through , me too.


Just late abit , care abit , hurt abit.


You have your own temperature.

But only in super facial.


I know you deeply , too deep for me.


I hope that was a big distance between us.

Its really has.


We both try to distancing each other.

I'm not the best friend as you said you know?


I don't even know how to give you response when you're always emphasize that we're best friend ever , what things we had gone through together.


When I flashback , Its has many things as real , but empty in feelings , in thinkings.

Who made it so real and hollow?


You're deceive who thats was listening , you threat them and me as silly.

I admit , for sometime I'm.

Then you become a liar a cheater.



Sometimes I even scare my feelings to straight , too strong to attack my brain , to control my actings.
I'm too scare of that.

So , I'm try so hard to control myself , to control my thinkings , the secretions of hormones , just let myself be pleasure although its ugly.


My expressions always hard to control.

My expressions always show that incautionly.


I'm not scare you'll discover it , because you never really care about me.

So , I know you well as you known me well.


Should I give up , or just keep chasing pavement?

Even that I know your way.

I'm sorry , I'm too strong feelings until it seen has been magnified.
This is not the first time , but I'm first time to write it.


To really peel off it let myself to see with.


Its splendid.


I wish I was cold as stone , then I wouldn't feel afraid .Wish I didn't have this heart ,then I wouldn't know the sting of rain . I could stand strong and still,  watching you walk away.  I wouldn't hurt like this , or feel so all alone , Wish I was cold as stone.


Its gonna dreams over.