pre graduation update

          My exams are coming so soon. The stress are getting more intense as well. I feel myself can't get through it if I wasn't having a little update here.



           I manage to catch up some of my lessons while still studying back what I need to retake. Those was the critical one. I mean I was studying for the past 6 months particularly for those subjects and I couldn't score. Now , I'm studying way more subjects than that , am I gonna score? Or it will turn out effect others as well?


            I'm going to have my 2nd-time graduation at my secondary school. I have pretty less memory about it. There was no tears and I'm super willing to leave. I've been there for 7 years. I was literally built there and now I was hoping I was built in somewhere else than this. Those people have taught me so much and surprisingly well that left me in no feeling of caring any others than mine. I was pretty selfish and that's all they teach and how I was built.


             People left you when you're not beneficial to them , that how it works. I maybe one of them like everyone else could be. We're clear as well we'll not contact each other for the rest of our life after the graduation day. So , it had me like it just a ceremony that all those people left you in just one day regardless your caring for them. They will just gone. They will be gone for the rest of your life. And all those time you spend together was mean for nothing and it's up to you to keep it as a memory.



               So , when you care for someone , you do something for it. You do something to make them stay as they should. You make space for them , you pray for them and you spend your precious time with them. And most importantly , you help them no matter what. You stay by them. This is how it works to so call best friend. 


             After all those lesson I've learned, I make my friends stay as they were. It's either you're so closed to me or you're a complete stranger to me. For most of you , you're dead to me.
I'm not sorry for this because we were taught and built this way. 


            Apart of the graduation , the exams are way too worse. The intense stress made me eating 24/7.  I can't control myself from chewing something. I need my mouth to work as I'm thinking. That's not gonna works during exam. I just have no other better way to stay focus and cope with all these stress. 

                  
            At the end of the day , I would just sleep a brain full of emptiness. It cant keep me calm and peace. I would just insomnia and roll on my bed for the rest of the night.



               Let me end with this which I heard from one of my favourite song.

"Just look up to the stars and believe who you are and it's quite alright" ----- Sum 41.