Thoughts

   

      There must be somethings happened on me. I was so desperate for a blog post. Hmm. What to write about?

            I was in the middle of doing my statistics question and I figured I just cant stay focus as I should. I stuck in  questions always and I lost in mind. I hate maths. I really do though I got an A+ in SPM but it means nothing. I was bad in maths and calculating. That's how God made me and eventually I learned so many until I calculate everything I could. I was calculating and comparing with the people around me. I want to be the superior. I want everyone to see me. But I have nothing to deserve that.


         People don't notice me always. I always guess it's because of my height and my face. But deep down I knew. It's not only about height and face and all those superficial appearance , it's all about characteristics and confidence to yourself instead. If you don't love yourself , nobody will.


           I want to learn this up and everyday I'm counting my blessing. I want to know how much I have and how much do I really care about. My friends demonstrate this very well. He loves himself regardless of the perspective of others. We don't need to have the perfect face and height , we just need to know what we wanted to be and work for it. At the end of the day , your happiness is the only thing matters.


           I've always jealous of those attention seeker. People remember them always and treat them well. People automatically help them even they don't need any help. They always get the benefits as well. I was crying for help but no one could ever notice what was going wrong with me. I have to get up by myself little by little and tell everyone everything is alright because NO ONE WOULD EVER CARE IF YOU JUST DIE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET.


           I was drown in the deep thoughts always. And yes , that make me speechless. I don't have much to talk with those strangers or normal friends. And in exchange I got my BEST FRIEND  circles and that's all I need.

        I want to thanks so much for they to stay in my life. I don't know our friendship can really last how long but those moments was meant to be. I'm learning. Counting my blessings and thanks everything on behalf. Things will just get better.


            And for those attention seeker , I jealous you no more. I was hoping you do have the real friends in your heart when you're surrounded by all the dramas and liars.


         Thinking I might need to back to my maths. Good night. The rhythm from Yiruma's fingers calm me down a lot. I guess I'm calling it for a night.