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| It's so much over. |
2013 was a big year for me and it's going to end.
Well I hope I'd have a quality time with my beloved friends or families.
I'd hope that I have a better way to count down at strike it.
Which unlike my Christmas eve night.
But the day was good which turn out not to be so in the very end of it.
Because I'm still unable to drive alone long way.
And it does make me so homy all the time like I'm still kid.
Ya. There's no way I couldn't admit that I just have a very few of friends.
Especially the very best and the true one.
I know and I believe that's because my personalities , characteristics and temper made me so lonely along the way.
I hate to know new friend and start it all again.
I hate meeting people.
I hate fancy things that I didn't own even one.
I hate fancy things with fancy people.
It's just like a reflex of my poverty.
Hmm.
Seems like a big trouble I'm into it.
I know that it will turn bad.
I know I should've change myself on behalf.
I know I knew.
2013
What was great was I'm in my 18 years old.
It's so many first in my life.
I was first been in military camp that long like 3 months and I rocked it anyway.
And before that was my working life.
I'm like having a long part time job that majoring my days, weeks and months.
Although it was a little penny and so much of work but I've learn so much and enjoy my moment there as well.
And after all of that my tertiary education started.
I was placed in the Pre-U course in my secondary school which normally malaysians name it as Form 6.
Well. As everyone know it's tough and like for the poor guys who eagerly long for government university which the place was very limited and only for some kind of race.
Ya, It's tough and hopelessly.
Which I'm now.
And after all , now and here I'm.
Done and get through the very first semester of my pre u course which took a big part of me.
Just done my stpm and it didn't gone well.
I do plan for retake for that for certain subjects. Yea. I hope that's just certain.
Oh ya. Forgot to tell.
I've be in a relationship with someone else.
And this was very suprised.
Best things come unexpectedly however it end in a very sudden.
When exam's over , my relationship over as well.
Well , I'm very thankful for her understanding not breaking up with me all the way until the big exams is over.
And I do end up sad and upset for that.
However. I see how it's coming , I noted and I knew it before it come.
And when she finally said it ,it do strikes me off.
Yeah, I though I would end up so sad and crazy for her.
Everybody though that so.
But I didn't.
Hmm. What's wrong?
I'm still the same who still smiling and laughing for the lame jokes.
I'm still the one being stupid and having super low self-confidence.
I'm still no friends.
I'm still poor and broke.
Although that was just 3 months top.
But it does make me feel so fantastic to be in love again.
I appreciated the moment we used to have.
I'm so sober.
I knew where my place and ever clearer where's her real place in mine.
Maybe my love was poor also.
Shame to tell.
And after all I finally having a break for all.
I went to Cameron Highlands with my classmate with the purpose of buying preserved insect to progress our bio assignment as well.
Very shame to tell that was my first time be in Cameron Highlands.
You know what. Sometimes I do hate my parents for not a big fan of traveling around the place.
I barely go shopping with my family.
Ya , I hate them for being that.
Which made me a completely dumb for not knowing places and their favourite place was Genting Highlands.
Ya. I didn't been in any other country.
And you know what , that's not because of poverty.
It's because of a parents' minds. And they hate to plan things.
They barely organised our Chinese New Year journey which I'm not into it.
And it does made me feel so small which I end up lock my mouth all the ways in any of the gathering of anybody and I have not much to say in a very small meeting of my friends which I'm ending up with non exist.
Never a guy realize I was there too.
I'm not much to say.
I'm not in the list.
I'm not in the interest.
Maybe I'm the only one I should blame to.
And it was great being in Cameron Highlands.
Those tomatoes and strawberry was a lot cheaper than in hypermarket here.
There was cool.
That's it.
The plants was cool nice and wonderful.
And we were all the way back to Gopeng as my friend house was there.
We overnight there. Okay I will get to it next time.
And after all I start my part time job.
Actually it was all in my 2 weeks.
Basically I back home and sleep. Wake up very early in the morning and go for work.
That's all in that 2 weeks.
Which I earn much of a penny.
It was like a event job.
Yea. It's among the world largest book fair ( as I'm been told that was)
It's super duper tiring until I was not checking and update any social profile of mine.
Having an average of 5 hours sleep a day. Erm 6 hours top for certain days.
And standing all the day up to 14 hours.
And my legs went skinny a bit.
I'm so hate and love my department.
The things I hate was the people.
We barely friends.
They were all lazy include me as well.
Don't know.
Just feel like we will not be in the same way.
I felt it's so endless at the very beginning of it.
It was boring and busy.
The food is still okay.
The people was like a wave which never ends all the way strike to the exit.
And I'm the people about the exit.
Guess how strong the wave is.
And after the job, here I'm now.
It's empty at the end of the day.
I was no longer eager to be hang out in the fancy shopping lots.
I prefer to be home to reading novels and take a really good rest before the war starts all over again.
And next year is another big big year I'm looking for it.
Ya. Exams and homework will be the only thing fill up my days , weeks , months and year.
And it was so shameful that I still didn't own a smart phone.
It's really bothering me.
Again. It made me feels small.
2013. What a rocks year I have.
Last year this time , everything was so different.
And people couldn't believe that people can change so much in just a little year.
And for certain people which was be in my life once or more , we will never ever meet again.
My heart breaks a little when I say that. Yea. That what a truth call.
We were no longer happy for the sweet we have.
We were no longer the child running in the field.
We were no longer have the time and chance playing catch and chase me.
We were there and I'm glad to have those rocks moment.
And that's what made me now.
We were so much stronger than before.
Yeah. We did.
2013. I've been no regrets.
It's 3.30 am now. Cant believe I got it so much.
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