Exam loads

      

While I was doing Bushner filtration.

 

 

It had been quite a long time that I didn't update here. I was busy. I was pretty busy preparing for my semester 2 STPM. It was huge. It was more and more heavy than in semester 1. Like I said I was being pretty lazy in semester 1 though I got a satisfy but not desired results. And for this time I knew , I would just fail if I didn't study properly. And I cant repeat the fault that I've done in the very last semester and the very last test.



        STPM was a week and few days after my trial exams. When I get my trials results I was like I'm fucked up this time , I'll never gonna make it. It was fail. I fail Biology and Chemistry in my trial. Yea, I never pass my Biology and Chemistry in semester 2. It was pretty bad. I'm bad. I'm gonna fail. I'm gonna retake and probably fail my semester 3 exams as well because of the previous retake subjects. For Biology , I have already retake for semester 1 , and probably semester 2 also now. It was a huge load that I'll never able to bear. For Chemistry , although I've done well in semester one (well, I guess) but what I have in semester 2 was not gonna be easy also. It involve a lots of reaction that my brain can never remember it within 1 or 2 weeks. For Maths , though I've pass this time , but it was still the subject that I'm worrying the most. Although I've tuition for this particular subject , but I was being lazy and the critical reason is I hate maths!
I hate numbers I hate counting. (Well , my maths now have a lots of alphabet instead of numbers , so what , SCREW me!)



       I still couldn't pass my subjects the week before the real STPM exams , how I'm gonna make it? This question appeared all the time at my mind. It does inspired me to study harder while the fact I was more on thinking why I'll come to this stage. I don't know what I suppose to feel like. Depress ? or Study damn damn hard like I have to score this so badly? Yea. I did. I mean I really need to score this so badly.



      I was studying in the fateful week. At the same time while rushing for the revision and the experiments have came along. We have to finish it up before exam and it did take time for the preparations and practical.



      Finally the day started STPM. My first paper was Pengajian Am. Well , before that I was so confidence about all of this subject while the facts I just barely study about it. I don't even have any textbook of it. I was sharing my friend's textbook all the time. And those notes was copied when I'm sleepy , those writing was the thing you don't want to see in your whole life. I was doing such a crap during exam. I'm feeling remorseful for what I did. I cant manage to finish every part of it. After the paper my mind was all the thing I couldn't finish. I can't even pass right now. I've done half of the essay , I've wrong about the amount of the bar chart and the axis were all wrong , I've never learned a single thing about all the structure questions........ It ended pretty bad. The clock tick tock tick tock while I was still struggling to decide which graph I should draw.



        I was having another paper in the same day. Maths was pretty worried me. It had been hell to learn anything about maths for me. I hate maths. It's like I'm just don't have that talent even I work the hell out of it. I'm still fail , I'm still cant remember in the very next second. I paid for tuition , I've focused in maths lessons and I have the BEST maths teacher that existed in my school. I've had the things that I need for learning maths. But it still a failure after all.



       I admitted I have not enough sleep for the very critical last night but it still cant be my any reasonable reason. People barely sleep before exams and even the weeks before exams. I was sleeping too much for almost the whole semester even for my whole life. I have nothing to comment about it seriously.



      It's so rare that I'm so speechless while constructing my blog post. My mind went blank and I don't know how to continue. Things I've done and now I'm waiting for the results. No matter how it'll be , I'm glad I made it over. It's not easy anyway how. But still , I hope for the best.