Midnight thoughts

          Research has found that people who stay awake at night usually having some kind of depression. And it do work on me.



           Midnight thought races in my mind. I'm physically tired but mentally so awake. I hate it. It made me sleepless and I wake up at the middle of the day and my day become sucks by then.
I hate it all comes along and looks so fine but actually don't.




            I've dreams and I dream a lots. I fantasized about my future. What I want to be , what I'm going to be and what exactly I'm doing to be. I hate to feel myself like inferior just because I see someone was doing better than me. I'm an average still. You know, you would find out your life was completely boring and hollow when you couldn't tell people the only thing you proud for. I couldn't tell. I don't know how that would feel like. I just know I'm not a arrogant person. And I'm working hard.


              I'm green eye monster. I jealous of people all the time and that's what made me inferior. I want to be as success as them. But I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of pulling out all the stops while what I get was disappointed in returned. I can't take the mock of the crowd. I can't take those peoples' judgement though I judge people all the time. But guess what, that's the green eye monster part of me.



               The question isn't to be or not anymore. It involve so much. Especially people like me , matter the most even no one really cares of. I hate midnight thought. That always made me so tiny. Always made me feeling completely nothing which then lead to depression.


                In daytime , we're usually busy and cover ourself much better. So there's no way could find out our depression. But when night , we're all vulnerable. We can't take anything basically. So , stay calm at night. Sleep at night.


                Argh. Now you know how this caught me. I hate midnight thoughts.



-4.35am