Things just get better.

    I don't know why. I knew this post is for me , myself.  I'm in seriously I'll that I didn't realize in days. I need a  consult , like the professional one. I was happy. I was pretending I'm happy. I thought I was but I'm actually not. Not at all.

      You hurt me more than everyone thought you were. I was competing with you. I though I've got over you but I'm not. And I never realize I wasn't. I was talking about you , criticize about you. I'm stabbing behind you. I want to hurt you the way you hurt me. And I want you to be more painful than I was. It's hurting to know I'm that. I just can't. I just am. I'm pretending all the time like I wasn't care at all. It was a game. I've enjoyed it and I've no loss.

     I'm wrecker than everyone think I was. I've completely screwed up. I can't manage my own stuffs. I can't face my feelings , myself at all. I was keeping busy pace in this holidays. Not a single day I was free. I worked even school has already started. I hanged out , I watched  dramas and movies in all the vacant time. I don't know is that the stress caused me or other things else. It's just I'm busy.

      I hate to admit that that was my problem and I caused it that way. I hate to let people see through. Guessing I'm hiding perfectly well. I don't know. I hate myself realizing that I'm still not over you. Or maybe the fact that you are a influencer in that particular circle. People took a stand. And they stand right next to you. Even someone I thought would stand by me. I'm losing all of them. And I left nothing now but acting I don't really get hurt.

      I care like nobody else would. I have problems and I have to face it now. I have to. I was escaping for a long time. At least I would not be a escaper at last. I know I'll get better. I just have to breath.

      It'll over , like nobody would ever have a thought about it.