Tuesday's mood.

     I was kind of busy especially on the weekends. I've got work wait to be done , and the passed class replacement. And after all is the tuition weekends started. I plan things , as always. And it fail , sometimes. 

    I've got so much to do but I'm wasting time instead. I hate such behavior cause everyone knew it brings No where. It was a fall in last summer. I've fallen so hard. I've kissed the ground and tasted the sand. Struggling to get up with the face full of sand and dusts while the cruel mocking rocks was cutting me in every possible ways. I was vulnerable. I remember how's that feel like. I've loved you so hard enough to hurt myself , to crash my head right to the wall.

      People keep telling what should we do and what should've done at the end of the days. It just so disgust me in every way it did. I need some directs and consults not the commandos and should and shouldn't .They're nobody to us. They're nothing. But they affect others people in every way they could. I'm so done with it. Guessing I've had enough of any of that.

     This semester is the most critical of all. My fate is all on that. I'll have all the failed subjects at a time , altogether. I can see the coming stress I couldn't afford. It's made me feel like watching the far huge cruel waves engulfing those little pathetically vulnerable island by the seasides. I have time to run and I don't. I suppose to save myself but I didn't. God knows how it'll end up with.
 
        I'm happy cause I have to and I suppose to. That's it. I hate those grumbly people saying how pathetically a day could be without smiling. Faking a smile or whatever. I'm treated myself as true happiness always. I don't fake smile as well as happiness. I'm not and I don't need to.

     I'm watching the purple highlighted sky which going to be darken in blue in any second. My place has stroke by the hazes today out of a sudden. Yesterday was still fine and it got so worst in just one extremely warmth afternoon. I was in school and remembered I was in chemistry lab having chemistry lessons. The eternity messy beats of the old dull drums by the drummers who preparing the upcoming concert so distracted me. I couldn't focus and learn what I suppose to. Squeezing all my nerves and trying with all I could to focus but I cant. And the pervasive haze was adding oil to the to the firing wood. It worsened the situation even my teacher was complaining about it. We're all distracted. Drifting my soul, realizing that I've been daydreaming. The ever changing hydrocarbons chains ain't that complex after all. Erm, day dreaming helped a lots. Looking forward for afterschool and it finally over. Rushing to the front gate and get off from this fencing areas.

    I'm calling it a day. School have been devastated by the pollution of pervasiveness of haze and dull messy drumbeats. And by now , realizing it's Tuesday already and something have to be done or at least I'm doing it. So , now it's.